I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize