The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize