we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
