what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
