actually, I'm a sock model
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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