No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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