and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
