i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
