Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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