Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
