It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Randomize
