dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Randomize
