Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
