shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
