im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
