I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize