I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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