My room smells like vodka and shame
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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