I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
