okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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