I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
