..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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