ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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