I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize