I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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