my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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