I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
high people should be assigned attendants
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize