booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
