Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
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