and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
