yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
