laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
