Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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