why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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