i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize