I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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