doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
