i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize