Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
