I didn't shave. On purpose
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
