You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I think people are normalizing furries
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
