I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
