Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize