plz talk dirty to me
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
