No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
They took my balls.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
