she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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