she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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