She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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