five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize