I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
