Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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