look no pants
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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