I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I love you. Go after that dick
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
