I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
My butt remains clenched, sir.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize