All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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