So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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