My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
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