there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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