i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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