now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
