John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Randomize
