He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
We were destined to go to rehab together
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Randomize
