We're facebook friends in real life
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
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