Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
