went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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