HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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