You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
