I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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