the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
