I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
