I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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