my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Randomize
