Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize