Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
