ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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