hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
