Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
