Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
