you would pick up someone in the library
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
