I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize