i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
