I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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