at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
