Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Randomize
