Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize