If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
