well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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