Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
