why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
